Over the years, I have heard it said a million different ways, "Follow your dreams", "Be true to yourself", and "follow your heart". The intention is to do what you love, what you are passionate about and what makes you happiest, but some people take it too far.
Following your dreams is great- if done responsibly and in a manner which does not cause harm to others. For example, a 20 something year old who is single and has no children may decide one day to quit his job, pack up his things and move across the country t try his hand at starting his own business teaching people to surf in Miami. It doesn't matter to him that he has no experience teaching people how to surf, or even that he has no business knowledge at all- he is passionate about surfing and feels that he wants to teach as many people as possible. Good for him. He can afford to pursue the dream in earnest- if he fails, he is the only one who pays for his failures. If he succeeds, he can be sure that he was the one who worked hard and achieved his dreams.
Now, take the same dream, but instead of a 20 something year old, inject a 50 year old man, who has been married for nearly 30 years and has three children- all in school and living at home. The same man, if he quits his job and moves away to follow his heart and be true to himself, is not in danger of only hurting himself if he fails. He now has four other people depending on him. His pursuit of a dream becomes irresponsible instead of an adventurous event in his life.
Todays society, it seems, has become so focused on the individual, that we forget, or no longer care, about our responsibilities. We forget that when we took our wedding vows, it was for forever, not for now. We don't fight to make things right- all to often we treat the person we vowed to love and cherish as a disposable item (More on this tomorrow), and we walk away. We walk off jobs after disagreements with our bosses, we stop taking an interest in our children's lives because it is no longer convenient.
The value of hard work, for hard works sake, is disappearing. We are looking more into ourselves, and less into the world. We no longer feel that we have social responsibilities to care for the poor, the needy, the sick or the old- we now relegate that to the government or to somebody else. We need to get back to a time when our word meant something- when you didn't need a 3 page contract agreeing to pay a friend back $20, because your word was enough. We need to get back to remembering that our friends and family, our jobs, our communities and our country all depend on us for things that we must continue to do or this country is at risk of losing what made it so great.
We don't throw away our families- we cherish them and take care of them. We work hard for our employers, not because we want the raise, but because it's the right thing to do. We should be taking care of the needy in our own communities because that is what Jesus told us to do.
Does all this mean that we should not follow our dreams? Not necessarily. It does mean that we may not be able to pursue them with the reckless abandon of a young adult with no attachments, but we can always pursue our passions with zest and determination. God would expect nothing less of us, and in fact, is very pleased when we choose to pursue that which He has called us to do. Lets take the example from earlier in this post- the 50 year old man with a family. If he wants to move from the midwest to Miami and teach others to surf, he can do so- responsibly. He can discuss it with his wife, learn the business, connect with other similar businesses in Miami, maybe get a job to learn the competencies needed for success, then he could start his business.
Other people pursue their passions and dreams when not working a 9-5 job. This is a great way to recharge and invigorate yourself after a long workweek. Keeping focus on what we love is important, it pushes us to do better, to learn more, to grow, to take risks. The problem is not in following ones dreams, it is in the fact that far too many people follow their dreams with reckless abandon and runs down those closest to them- this is not how God calls us to treat one another.
So follow your dreams, but do so with an eye on your responsibilities. Also, do what it takes to develop the talent you will need to succeed. Desire is only one part of achieving dreams, you have to take risks, but you also have to work hard. If you want to act, take a class. If you want to play a sport, join a league, read about it, alter your diet, train- no great athlete just shows up for the game and plays well. They prepare for the game, work at it all week, all season, they train, eat right, nurse injuries, rely on coaches for advice, and practice. All dreams take the same commitment and hard work.
If you cannot or are not willing to put in the hard work, then what you have is a desire, not a dream. It may be time for self examination to determine what your true passions are. Lets all do society a favor and agree that if we cannot follow our dreams while taking care of our current responsibilities (which we chose to take on), then we will not do so. Far too many spouses and children have been devastated by someone wanting to "be true to themselves". How about we try and be true to each other?
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