The other day, as I walked into the grocery store, I had the privilege of overhearing a father with his son.
"Dad", as the son, who appeared to be about three or four years old, "How much is your car worth?"
"Well" said dad, "I'd say it's probably worth about $7,000. Would you pay me $7,000 for my car?"
The son, stopped walking, looked up at his dad and said, "No". His dad smiled, took his hand and they kept on walking. A few steps later, the little boy stopped again, and asked his dad, "Dad, would you pay $7,000 for me?" Without missing a beat, the father said "Son, I would give everything I have for you- because you are that special to me."
As we parted ways, I thought to myself that there was a little boy who was going to grow up knowing how incredibly special he was to at least one person. As a parent, I have always believed that we have the responsibility to make sure our children feel like they are the most important person in the world to someone. They need to know that they were created to be unique and special- we all need to know that.
Every child has special gifts and qualities. Some are intelligent, some are insightful, some are compassionate, others have the gift of leadership, hard work, or teaching. It is so important, as parents, that we take time to learn what our children's passions and gifts are, so that we can encourage them to always be the best they can be.
God created every person to be unique- to have a specific set of gifts, talents, passions and weaknesses that combine to create just one you. Every child deserves to know how these come together within them to create one unique them.
Some things, I have seen through my career as a Social Worker, is too many parents who praise their daughters for being pretty- lets remember that looks fade, and while a daughter may be beautiful, it is not her outer beauty that makes her lovable. I have seen too many teen age girls who are fearful of losing their looks or feel that they have nothing else to contribute to society except being pretty- imagine how that girl would feel if she suffers an accident that gives her a scar on her face.
I have also seen too many boys praised for being "strong". Too many boys feel that they cannot talk about how they are feeling, they feel that they have to cope or deal with everything on their own. This can be devastating for boys who experience significant losses in their changes.
We must teach our children that we are not expected to all be the same, but rather that we all have been given gifts chosen just for us, by God. We must learn to recognize and celebrate that which makes each of us unique and special.
For example, as a parent, I am one who tends to push my son to experience things, to do for himself. I have not ever been accused of being to cuddly or over nurturing. This has served him well in that he is very independent, self sufficient, intelligent and fearless. He can problem solve better than most people and is not limited by what other people see as confines- he breaks barriers. I have a dear friend, who is incredibly nurturing- she admires her children's sense of adventure, and does whatever she can for them because she never wants them to be uncomfortable. Her children are secure, funny, social, and love to laugh. They are confident and not afraid to ask. We both agree that both of our parenting styles have benefits and drawbacks- her children are not as independent as she would like, my son, does not like to ask for help and is reluctant to discuss his frustrations- but both are wonderful styles that have great things to offer. We often talk and benefit from our differences as parents.
We are so fortunate to live in a time when more and more differences are being celebrated, but unfortunately, we do not always teach our children whats really of value- their true gifts, their true talents, and their truest selves. The old adage is true- it's on the inside that counts.
No comments:
Post a Comment