Where has the Love Gone?

I have been watching the news lately and have had this recurrent thought that God must be truly disappointed in his children.  We have become so mean and hateful towards one another, that it is hard to listen to the evening news or read a newspaper.

I'm not sure why "news" has to be mostly bad news, terrifying items or sad information-I thought the purpose of the news was to update us on the world around us.  It was to provide us with information we would not otherwise have access to.  In my opinion, that should be both good and bad information-without a slant by the media.

Why is the bombing of the Boston marathon more newsworthy than the stories of people who have overcome personal tragedy, and raised thousands of dollars for a cause.  Why does the news focus on the rancher in Utah who is defying the government, but it refuses to mention how we should honor the tens of thousands of soldiers who selflessly lay their lives on the line protecting that ranchers right to oppose his government.

The media discusses natural disasters, the missing flight of ML370, mass murders, human brutality beyond belief, civil wars, and so on.  Yet they are slow to cover the people who choose on a daily basis to make a difference.  The unsung heroes of our world who choose to help others, fight for peace, and make a difference.  Why don't we hear stories of Katie Davis, an incredibly inspiring 22 year old who has taken the message of the Gospel to heart.  She went out on a limb, moved to Uganda and everyday makes a difference in others lives (for more of Katies story, click here ).

I find that at night, I often pray for all of mankind.  I have been troubled by the lack of compassion and love that we show one another.  I cannot believe how cruel humans can be, how intolerant and how selfish we have become.  It is becoming more rare to look out for others, instead, most of us have the attitude that if we don't lookout for ourselves, no one will.  I admit, that I fall prey to this line of thinking too.  The truth is, it is hard to put others before ourselves, but that is exactly what Christ calls us to do.

If Jesus, who was perfect in every way, could place each one of us before himself, and take the punishment meant for us even while knowing that most of us would not fully understand or appreciate the gift, then certainly we can place others first in our lives.  To feed a stranger, to look at someone with compassion and not judge them for their mistakes, but love them for who they are, is difficult, but so worth it.  In winter, I buy extra gloves, hats and scarves and keep them in my car.  If I see someone who is in need, I offer what I can.  Many times, I am politely turned down, and we all go about our lives.  Two times, my life was altered by this simple act.

The first time was when I was in Madison for a swim meet with my son.  It was a cold winter, the temperatures were well below zero that day.  On my way home, I noticed a homeless man huddling near a McDonalds building.  I went through the drive through, ordered a coffee for myself and an extra coffee for him.  When I pulled up to offer it to him, I noticed he had no gloves on.  He was grateful for the cup of coffee, and wrapped his hands around it tightly.  I noticed how cold he looked and how sad his eyes were.  I wanted to offer him a pair of the knit gloves in the back of my car, but God pulled at my heart.  Instead, I handed over my husbands warm ski gloves (knowing that I had a warm car, a home and the means to get another pair of gloves).  That kind gentleman took them, and with a tear rolling down his cheek thanked me in a quiet voice.  I drove home- changed forever by that moment.

The other moment was while working about 5 years ago.  I was driving to lunch with a friend, when we both saw a man with a cardboard sign that read "Homeless and Hungry".  We went to lunch and talked about our days, our families and so on, but I could not get him out of my mind.  Before we left, I ordered a meal for that gentleman, praying that he would still be there on my way back.  He was, I pulled over and offered him the meal.  That gentleman was so grateful, he tanked me and my friend profusely and sat down right there on the corner to eat!  My heart changed again, this time more deeply.

I am like so many others, i have learned to look past the needy, but not anymore.  I do what I can do to help.  I am no Katie Davis, but I hope that I make a difference in some lives everyday.  We need to be more focused on doing good and reaching out.  We must treat each other with love and compassion.  We must remember that when we are blessed, it is not as a reward for doing well, but rather a responsibility to continue doing well.  God gives us much so that we may share and give to others.

I believe that every person has a calling in their heart.  My brother in law and his family, have missionary hearts.  They travel the world doing short term mission trips, and that is wonderful.  It is a blessing to many that they are able to come and share their many talents and open hearts.  I am called to help out those closer to home.  My mission work is subtle, but no less important.  I am called to reach out for a moment to those who are in need.  Both callings are equally important and needed if we are to bring the Gospel to the masses.  We must reach out in love in all areas of our lives.

How Honest is too Honest?

We are told as children the old adage "Honesty is the best policy", but is it?  I think back over some very hurtful words, comments and talks all done in the name of "just being honest".  I have come to develop a very strong opinion in this area.

Yes, it is essential that we are honest with one another.  Colossians 3:9 states " Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices".  See?  Being honest is important and commanded by God.  We, as Christians, must speak in a honest manner with each other and with others.  Truth lives in honesty, when you speak dishonestly, there is no truth.  That being said, the topic of honesty has a multitude of sub topics, and we must address them all, if we are to speak in true Christian honesty.

I will do my best to cover some of the more basic areas in which we use  honesty to justify our behavior:

Discussing Feelings with others:

One area most of us struggle to use complete honesty is when we are discussing our feelings with others.  We are creatures who demand acceptance by others to feel validated and loved.  When we reveal vulnerable areas in our lives, whether that being fears of failing, or not feeling loved, we expose ourselves to the possibility that others will reject us.  Not only that, but we give them the reason they could potentially use to mock or reject us.

In an effort to protect ourselves from the pain of rejection, we often share with others only what we perceive will be accepted as positive and in our favor.  We only need to look at our Facebook, Twitter or other social media accounts to see this.  Most people on social network sites, publish good things in their lives, and suffer quietly with those things they believe to be less desirable to others.

If we are to experience true acceptance and love from others, we must be honest and reveal all of ourselves to those we seek to bond with.  When we are the most vulnerable, we are the most open and ready to accept the love and acceptance of those whom God placed in our lives.  Ephesians 4:25 states, "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another."  

If we are truly members of one another, then it is essential that we share our inner most secrets and vulnerabilities with each other.  It is also essential that we respect and protect those that are shared with us.  In every circumstance, when someone shares their inner most being with us, we must remember what a gift that is-no mocking, no gossiping and no harsh judgments.  I admit, that I am good about not mocking, judging or gossiping, but I struggle to be honest with others.  I want to be accepted and loved, and often worry that if others knew the real me, they wouldn't accept me.  I want them to share with me, but I am slow to trust others enough to share myself with them.  Luke addresses this, when he writes, "And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them."

That is something for me to remember.  If I find it a gift when others share with me, they may find it a gift if I do the same.  God created us to be relational beings, and that means being in relationship with one another- we cannot have true relationships if we are not honest about who we are and why we feel the way we do.

Giving our Opinion-asked or not:

Far too often in my life, I have either been on the receiving end, or have heard others give harsh criticism to others in the name of "just being honest".  For example, if someone asks if their new haircut looks nice-it is not Chrisitan to state that it is, in fact, a terrible haircut for them.  To be honest and Christian we must remember to think if we what we are saying is helpful, kind, true and if there is anything the other person can do about it.

Here comes an example of my opening up and being truthful-get ready and brace yourselves!  When I was a child, I grew up in a home that did not have a lot of money.  We were very poor, and could not afford much.  When I started dating my husband, my in-laws made comments about how I was only dating my husband for his money.  In their mind, they were just being honest-to me, it was mean and hurtful.  I felt judged and as if they could not be bothered to get to know the real me.  they saw my circumstance, judged me and used "honesty" to make me feel terrible.  

God doesn't want anyone to feel badly about the situation they are in.  If we are making a decision that is not Chrisitian, our loved ones should talk to us honestly.  My dearest friend in the whole world, is very open with me when I am out of line or living in a manner not in line with my beliefs.  the difference between her and the in-laws?  She approaches me from a place of love, talks about facts, and only about things I have some control over.  Because of her ability and courage to do this, we are extremely close, and always will be.  I respect her more than I can ever tell her.

Bearing Witness of our Neighbors:

When we speak of others, it is important to remember that we must be totally truthful in what we say.  Positive or negative, we must not exaggerate, stretch the truth or fabricate facts.  Sounds easy enough right?  But how many of us, have filled in minor details to get the larger point across? 

this is not kind, or truthful.

In all things we must be honest, but being honest requires us to be kind and loving as well.  God calls us to love one another.  We cannot work together to fix problems, come up with solutions and raise each other up without complete honesty and love.