The other day, I was taken aback when I heard a television commercial start with these words "Do you live in the United States? Then you have the right to be debt free" (emphasis added). It was a commercial for a bankruptcy attorney-as I'm sure you could have guessed.
When did being born in the United States guarantee that you would be debt free? Did I miss that in the Declaration of Independence or the Bill of Rights? Do we no longer expect people to hold themselves accountable?
In recent years, this country has developed an attitude of entitlement that is becoming hard to support. It was not that long ago that people expected to pay their bills, work hard to provide for their families, and take care of family members that needed assistance. Taking a hand out from the government, or even friends and family for that matter, was a last resort and only done after every other option was tried.
Too many people today refuse to work, unless they are able to find the perfect job with the right salary and benefits. "Why should I lower myself?" they say. While it may not be ideal to work at a fast food chain when you have children at home, getting paid a little is better than getting paid nothing! It is understood that you cannot support a family on the current minimum wage, and it is true that with the economic situation being what it is, many families cannot find higher paying jobs. That is unfortunate, but it does not excuse husbands and wives, or individuals from living responsibly.
When an individual is faced with a significant cut in income, the responsible thing to do is cut your expenses, do what you can to work (including two jobs if needed) and live within your means. Is this easy? It is absolutely not, but it is what is necessary. I am confused when society went from expecting a person to do what was needed to make ends meet to a society that says you have the right to be debt free without any work on your behalf? Go ahead, keep spending, buy the house you cannot afford anymore, get the nice car, and send your children to private school, if you get too far in debt, you can just call an attorney, file bankruptcy and start over!
This is not the answer. In addition to not being financially responsible, we have a moral obligation to pay our debts. Lenders lend money in good faith that we will pay them back-it is morally reprehensible to take their money, then when money is tight, refuse to pay them, refuse to take a job that is not your ideal and expect the government to help you out.
It is true that there are real crisis situations when people lose their jobs, get overtaken by a medical emergency in the family, and they cannot get out from under it. There are times when people legitimately need to file for bankruptcy, however a majority of people who file are not in true crisis-they are in a situation where it would mean altering their lifestyle to get by.
It's not just finances either. Families used to be close, it used to be understood that you took care of your children, and when you grew old, they would care for you. Todays society is very mobile, often causing families to live far apart. However, the explosion of long term care units, assisted living facilities and continuing care communities point to a change in our mentality. Many people in these facilities are placed there by loving and involved families, who came to the decision to move mom or dad in after much discussion. These families come to visit, come to care meetings and are interested in how mom and dad are doing.
Too many patients, however, were brought there after being told they can no longer live alone. The family members promise they will be there often to see mom and dad, they will pick them up and take them to family events. Once admitted, too many of these families disappear. They stop by once or twice a year, fail to call, do not attend care meetings, and truthfully, do not even check on their parents. I once worked at a facility in a different state. When a long term resident passed away, I contacted his son, who came to clean out the room. The nursing staff and housekeeping staff, who knew every family member, told me that in the 10 years, the gentleman lived there, they had never seen the son! The resident could not use a phone due to advanced cognitive issues, but regularly reminisced with staff about his son. As sad as this story is, I cannot tell you how often I have seen this happen.
So we don't take care of our elderly like we used to. Parents are not exempt from this paradigm. Too many parents do not want to take care of their children. Fathers leave and don't pay support, Mothers walk away, and too many parents neglect their children. Technology has become our best babysitter, and all too often an excuse not to provide children the attention they desperately need.
Since we are not accountable for our financial choices or expected to care for family, why would we accept responsibility in public matters? Ask any CEO of any major corporation or an injury attorney, and you will be regaled with stories of frivolous law suits. If you are walking through a store and slip, should you sue for thousands or millions of dollars? How about acknowledging that you slipped and move on? Spill hot coffee on you? How about instead of suing the fast food chain, you use some common sense and not put a cup of hot coffee between your legs while you drive?
When frivolous law suits are filed, it takes away from legitimate suits. These suits take resources from people who have truly been harmed by negligent corporate practices. Make no mistake, I am not saying that no one should ever sue a company-there are true cases of corporations hurting people and they should be taken to court. However, when it is your carelessness, or lack of common sense that causes you harm-the responsible party is you! We, as a society, should not have to protect you from yourself.
It's time that we begin to advocate personal responsibility again. We have become a society where is more desirable to sit home and get a check from the government than it is to work hard. This is crazy to me. When people work hard, live within their means, and take care of one another, there is a degree of pride that you cannot get from being lazy and selfish. We need to encourage each other to do better-this is not ok.
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