"I am Your Mother"

Today, my grown up son and his girlfriend boarded a plane and headed to Miami.  He begins a new job Monday, and they are looking for a place to live.  His girlfriend will rejoin him in about a month, but will return to Seattle next week.  Here's the thing, I worry about him.

Yes, he is 26 years old.  Yes, he is highly respected in the scientific community and yes, he is a capable adult.  When I tell him that I worry about him starting over in a new city, and I ask if he checked the crime statistics of different neighborhoods, or if he has planned for the cost of shipping his items, he rolls his eyes and provides a polite, yet frustrated answer.  I know he is grown up, but here are some things he doesn't understand:

1. I am your mother.  I gave birth to you.  For nine months I was terribly aware that every decision I made affected you directly.  When I ate spicy food, you became angry and let me know that you did not agree (ironic since you love spicy food now).  As I was the only one who could protect you then, I feel a special sense of responsibility-that will not go away simply because you have decided that you are grown up.  
2. I am your mother.  I watched you grown, explore the world and find your way.  I cleaned many scraped knees, told you that you were fine, kissed more boo-boos than I can count.  I have seen friends and family frustrate you (me included), I have watched you make friends and lose them.  I was there when you succeeded and when you failed and I cheered you on every step of the way.  When you succeeded, my heart soared with pride, when you failed, it hurt for you.  When you were struggling to find your way, I was there to walk you through and guide you to many decisions who made you who you are.  I also knew when to step back and let you make decisions that I did not agree with, to help you learn.
3. I am your mother.  Remember all those nights you were out dating?  I stayed awake and prayed that you remembered to treat those girls with respect and kindness.  I watched you fall in love, and get your heart broken.  I was there when you realized that the first girl you fell in love with, was not the only girl.  I watched you go off to college and develop a strong sense of who you are and what you have to bring to a relationship.  I watched you get married, and was there when your world crashed in around you.  I cried for you every night as you struggled, and I rejoiced when your heart began to heal and you realized that you could-and would-love again.  
4. I am your mother.  I know you better than you think.  I am proud of you, I watched you grow up into a fine young man.  I pray for you every night, that you will continue to know success, that you will continue your walk in Gods ways, and that you will be happy.  I pray for your safety, for you to know that you are loved more than you will ever know, and that you will one day have a child of your own, so that you will realize the great love a parent has for a child.
5. I AM YOUR MOTHER! That means, no matter how smart you are, how old you  are or how incredibly successful you are I will always worry about you.  You are a piece of me.  My heart feels your pride, your fear and your apprehension.  When you dream, I dream for you.  I would give my life for  you to have every blessing and to know no pain or disappointment.  But I also know that the world is the world.  It is not your mother.  The rest of the world may care for you, but there are plenty of people who will hurt you or take advantage of you to advance themselves.  I will rejoice when you succeed and I will hurt when you hurt.

So there it is.  As a mother, I will not stop worrying about him.  I can see the journey ahead of him, and I am excited for him and for the opportunities that await him.  Still, I want this move to be smooth and free of frustration, so I will worry and I will continue to ask the frustrating questions.  To him, I have three words of wisdom "Get over it".  Some day he will be a parent and maybe then he will understand.